


Last Moments

by ConfessionForAnotherTime



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Goodbyes, M/M, Mental Instability, The Mindscape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:12:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4978468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfessionForAnotherTime/pseuds/ConfessionForAnotherTime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In your head, those last moments can last forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Moments

**Author's Note:**

  * For [churchwash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/churchwash/gifts).



The lighting was off. Alpha took a few steps around, still amazed that the Freelancer had let him into his head. Even rundown, Wash’s head was in worse shape than Caboose’s had been, but he expected as much. This was one of those things that-- no, he had no memory of what happened here. Just conjecture. Everything was messed up from Epsilon and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

“I haven’t had anyone in here in awhile. I don’t want them to see the mess the last guy made.” Wash shifted uncomfortably, his brown skin even darker in the dim light of the room. “This is why I didn’t want you here in the first place. No one has seen it since he left and it’s easier to deal with it without sharing that with anyone.”

Alpha took a step forward, taking off his helmet. His skin shone blue in the brainscape, not masking himself anymore. “You don’t have to hide in here.”

Wash shrugged. “Easier though. I got used to not dealing with it and the less I do, the less I have to think about all the other memories that aren’t mine fighting in my head.”

“I can definitely understand that. Considering this will all happen in the span of a few seconds when it’s going to feel even longer than that, you’re barely going to remember it. It may tug at you, but all you’ll really remember is what The Director will see. You won’t remember this at all.” Alpha completed the human gesture of sighing, taking a few steps forward to rest his hand on Wash’s shoulder.

“Not remembering isn’t the problem. The fact that there will be a little bit left over, just enough for it to seep in will make it worse,” Wash said, taking a seat. “I’m only letting you stay because this is the only way this works. We know we need to take him down and this is a way to do that. To end all this. I just wish it didn’t have to end the way it does.”

“Hey, I knew this was a possibility when you proposed the plan. This is why I resisted. This is why I wanted to hide with Caboose and keep from having to deal with all of it. I don’t _want_ to do this plan, but it’s the only way to put a stop to all of this, like you said. It’s the only way to ensure that we can take out the Meta. This should do it. Like Project Freelancer being the magic bullet for the war, this could be our magic bullet for taking them out too.” Church heaved another sigh as the clock finally ticked away a second. One more second toward death. Keep soldiering on. Make this count.

“Did you get to say goodbye to Caboose?” Wash asked as he swallowed, the lump in his throat making it hard to focus. He knew the blue would be devastated.

“Even if I said something, I think deep down he knows I won’t come back. I just hope that he can find someone to actually take care of him and be the friend that he needs.” Church shook his head. “If you’re able, take care of him for me?”

Wash nodded. “And what about the rest of us?”

“The rest of you will be able to deal with it better.” Church took a step forward, pulling Wash into a hug. “The rest of you will carry on just like he will. Don’t bring them into this when you really want to ask ‘what about me?’ You’ll remember me. You’ll move on. Deep down though, traces of this will still be here. I’ll always still be here. I know I’ve been difficult, but hey, who said this would be easy?”

Wash shook his head. “You’re talking like you aren’t coming back. I thought this wasn’t going to work on you.” Wash had gotten used to being left behind.

“You do know I know what you’re thinking this whole time right? It’s just easier if you say it.”

“I just,” Wash started, looking for the right words. “I just have been looking forward to having someone who knows what it’s like to feel broken all of the time. You’re an asshole. You drive me up a wall. However, I’m still drawn to you. I want you to help me. I want you to see, but I wish that help didn’t come at the cost of losing you. I don’t want to lose anyone else in my life. I don’t want to relive that. I don’t want them to see what I was like before.”

“Someone will come along if I don’t make it back. Just remember me and see parts of me in them. I know we haven’t had enough time, but I want the world to be better for you if I have to go.” Church pulled him closer, pressing his digital cheek to his chest. Another second passed.

“Hey, don’t worry. I got this.” Alpha pressed a kiss to Wash’s forehead, dark skin warm under his lips, even if the bleached hair tickled his nose.

\---

“That thing only works on computers remember? And I am a motherfucking ghost.” Yeah Church, you are. Wash looked around the cell that he had learned to call home following their failed attempt at facing the Director. The Reds and Blues had gotten away. Epsilon was presumed missing. Church… Alpha was gone. The residue he had left behind was more than enough to keep Wash up at night. He had lied. He still felt him on the edge of consciousness. He could still feel the tug of his lips when he kissed him right before he left. He still felt the warmth that was only his mind telling him what he wanted to feel. All Wash had left was the memory, much like all the other memories that flooded to him.

“I’ll always be here though.” Wash smiled softly at how true Church’s words were.

 

 


End file.
